A Problem of the Taller Sort
by The-Doctor's-Invader-at-221B
Summary: After Gir messes with Zim's new teleporter, he causes it to work in reverse and set the coordinates to a very undesirable location, spelling out doom and a three week sentence on Earth for two certain Irkens, getting them involved in horrible things. Waffles, Hi Skool, age reversing machines, explosions, and near-death experiences are just a few. On hiatus!


A/N: Why. Am. I. Starting. Another. Fic. Ah don' know! But, this idea was from Star Timeblazer, just a new take on G.M.A. And I really, really am having so much fun with this.

And I did need another story to replace DoomBook, I DID! I swear! *Sigh* Please enjoy this. All previous readers of G.M.A., I hope that I didn't fail you with this. And all who have not read Gir's Massive Adventure, just R&R! And since this is just a 'what if' story, some things will be the same.

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"Gir, here is yet another example of my incredible ingenius. I am almost done completing a teleportation device to travel to any location I want. I input the destination coordinates on here, and I will be instantly transported to the place I want! DOES IT NOT AMAZE YOU!" cried Zim, rambling to his idiotic minion, who couldn't understand one word of what his master was saying.

"Ah gots a taco!" said Gir hopefully, as if tacos might speed up the completion of the device.

Zim rolled his eyes and turned back to his machine. He picked up a wrench and started tightening several bolts.

"What's dat thingy, Mastah?" asked Gir.

Zim slapped a hand to his face. "I just explained it all to you, Gir! I told you, it's a thing that takes you places when you press the buttons!"

"Aw yeaaaah..." said Gir, cocking his head. He perked up suddenly and asked, "Can you make mashed potatoes in it?"

"NO! You can't do anything in it except go places!" said Zim, throwing the wrench down in frustration.

"OOOOH! Can you play with da munkies in it?"

One of Zim's ruby eyes twitched. He let out a sigh of exasperation and picked up the wrench again. He had to remember to make sure that he didn't twist the bolt too tight, or else it could explode or maybe start working in reverse, like be able to transport things from a certain location back to his base if the correct coordinates were set. But, pft, he was a GENIUS! He couldn't possibly fail at this!

The Next Day...

Zim popped in his last contact and headed for the door of his base.

"Gir, you know the drill. Don't let anyone in, don't let anything out, don't order a year's supply of pizza, don't blow up the base, and for the love of Irk, do NOT touch my newest creation downstairs. Got it?"

"Gimme two waffles, five-hundred piggies, a mongoose, and a real big can a' DOOM!" screeched Gir, standing on his head in front of the TV.

Zim nodded and marched out the front door. To Gir, that was a definate yes.

A Few Hours Later...

Gir wished that Master was back. He wished that almost every day, when Master was at that big place that he talked about, where he said Big-Head Mary and the real scary lady was.

Gir chomped on a taco and watched the Scary Munkey Show. He laughed when the Munkey growled, and kept laughing for a solid ten minutes. Suddenly, he sat up and thought, I could go play with Master's new toy! Oh, then he'll come home and we'll have lots of fun together! Gir let out a squeal and hopped up, running into the kitchen. He climbed into the elevator that was disguised as a toilet and rode down to the labs, singing the Doom Song. He landed in the labs and saw the big, neat, fun-lookin' thingy.

"YEE-HOO!" cried Gir, skipping over to the machine. He jumped into the main part (which was basically a large box). Gir's antenna perked up when he heard the front door open and he heard Master's voice.

"That horrible big-headed, tiny-brained, pathetic human MEAT-CHILD! And that horrible HEAD of his! THAT HEAD! He deserved what I gave him, and more...SO MUCH MORE! And why do the awful HYOO-MAN stinks think that it is a punishment to make ZIM stay away from that wretched place for the rest of the week? Those moronic...! Gir? Gir, where ARE you?" snapped Zim, noticing that Gir was absent from listening to his rants.

"Computer, scan for Gir!"

"Would it really kill you to say please?" said Computer, annoyed that Zim had woken him from sleep-mode.

"Just do the scan!"

"Fine...he's in the lower levels in the base."

Zim threw off his disguise and ran into the kitchen in a panic. He got into an elevator and yelled, "GIR! If I see you messing with my machine-!"

Gir laughed and called, "Hiiiii, Mastah! Wanna come play with me?"

He spotted the keypad on the side of the box. Wow, those buttons looked so shiny! He pressed a bunch of them at once.

Zim reached the labs and shouted, "GIR! GET AWAY FROM THAT THIS SECOND!" Unfortunately, he tripped over a rubber piggy that Gir had left on the floor.

A voice inside the box said, "DESTINATION CHOSEN!"

There were some zapping sounds, lots of them, and an enormous flash of light.

Then the machine completely shorted out, blowing something off the side of it and releasing lots of smoke.

After some of it had cleared, Zim crawled over to where the object had landed while he coughed loudly behind a black glove. He picked the thing up.

It was the very screw he'd finished the teleporter with. Great, that meant he HAD screwed it in too tightly!

He wondered if the machine shorting out was just the thing almost exploding, or something actually had transported back to his base. He walked rather blindly over to his teleporter to check the keypad, peering as hard as he could through the smoke to see if Gir had actually set coordinates to something, which was extremely unlikely. Unfortunately, he was proven wrong as he tripped over something, then hit something that felt like some sort of metal. He heard a slight moan as well, and it didn't come from him. He waved away the smoke furiously.

He then jumped back with a loud yelp, stumbling again. Landing on his rear, he stared in stupefaction at the sight before him. That was not possible... How in the... Gir could not have created that big of a mess or coincidence...

He blinked many times, to rid himself of the vision in front of him. But it seemed real... He leaned over and poked one of the unconscious figures. Completely solid, not just holograms or some kind of mental image...

He stood up shakily, and pulled on his antennae in a horrified manner. This was his robot's fault, wasn't it!

"ARGH- GIIIRRRR!" screamed Zim, whipping around. The robot was still in sleep-mode.

"This- This- AAAGH!" Zim kicked the teleporter as hard as he possibly could, yelling out a combination of Irken curse words and regular English as he ranted, kicking and punching at things furiously, most likely damaging his skin and possibly bones.

After several minutes, he sank to the floor, panting. This could not be happening... He was just glad his shouts didn't wake the figures on the floor. It was rather surprising, actually.

A few moments more passed, and Zim bit his lip, getting up off the floor again. What was he going to do about this?

He was going to have to transport them back as soon as possible, they were of course leaders of an entire Empire and needed to be back on the Massive, controlling the Armada.

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Okay, this was meant to be short, just so you know! Next chapter is coming soon!


End file.
